Happy birthday, Israel, 60 this month. Or, rather, happy birthday, Israels. For there are two Jewish states. The first is a vigorous democracy, with a vibrant civil society, a robust independent judiciary and an aggressive free press. It’s a multicul-tural society, boasting Arab members of the Knesset, the Israeli parliament; Arab diplomats and university professors; soldiers and beauty queens; and even a Muslim cabinet minister...

Then there is the second Israel, whose security fence snakes beyond the Green Line, the pre1967 border, cutting deep into Palestinian territory. That Israel subsidises the settlers’ para-state, which has its own water and electricity supplies, its roads forbidden to Palestinians – all guarded by the Israeli army.

Congrats, Israel

Congratulations, Yeretz Israel on your 60th anniversary. Still a beacon of hope and democracy for your Arab neighbors to emulate.

U.S. Withdraws Fulbright Grants to Gaza (thanks Nour)

Where the next "Doha conference" should be...

This is where they should send all the Lebanese leaders the next time they all fuck up.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7426869.stm

I'd like to see Aoun try giving a gardenia to one of those Red Tribesmen. (thanks Zahra)

"Sisterly" Syria

6:59pm Saniora said he looks forward to cordial relations with foreign countries, including sisterly Syria (Naharnet)

Two things:

(1)Why must Arab countries refer to each other as family members? Because frankly, the inter-Arab screwing that has been happening over the past 60 years is making me a little nauseous, and technically would qualify as incest, which nobody likes, except some weirdos.

(2)If we insist on neighboring countries being family members, can we friggin' decide which member of the family they are? Is Syria the bully brother or the butch sister? Is Israel the smart, athletic step-brother that everybody always compares you to? Is Iran the neurotic, overbearing father? Can't we just decide and stick to it?

Pay no attention to the man behind the Green curtain...

What?! Racist Jews?! Is there really such a thing? I think this article is anti-Semetic. Who's with me?

Police in Israel are investigating the burning of hundreds of New Testaments in a city near Tel Aviv, an incident that has alarmed advocates of religious freedom.

Make Hummus, not war...

Yayy, Lebanese Armed Forces (LAF) mini-fieldtrips to Disney World!!!!

We could help greatly by assigning special forces operators to advise each Lebanese battalion. We should spend the money to put each Lebanese battalion through the rotations at the U.S. Army's National Training Center or the Marine Corps Combined Arms Center — both are located in the California high desert. We should have done this with the Iraqis, but we failed to do so. We are just now recovering from that mistake. The Lebanese army is a legitimate — if under-trained and under-supplied — army. It is a viable, but flawed, institution. Our Special Forces guys transformed the armed forces of El Salvador and that is a model to emulate. We did this without a single American death. Let us allow the professionals to do the job...

No nation can be truly sovereign if it cannot control or eliminate armed factions within its borders. Lebanon is no exception. Hezbollah must be brought to heel.

The governments of the Middle East, from Iran to Israel and beyond, are increasingly ignoring the wishes of a U.S. administration which has only eight months left in office, going their own way in regional diplomacy.

The Lebanese are experts at bouncing back from adversity. It is almost as though there had never been a recent war with Israel or 18 months of political stalemate that had crippled the country’s economy. There is probably no other nation that could dust itself down and celebrate a new dawn with such alacrity.

I don’t wish to put a damper on the euphoria, but if there is to be a new dawn signaling a new era of peace and prosperity then it should be celebrated with the caveat “foreign powers keep out.” A new Lebanese government should not be seduced by sweet words of comfort from Washington, France or Iran when the only blood running on Lebanon’s streets is Lebanese.

Lebanese leaders need to sort out their real friends from faux allies concerned only with Lebanon as a step toward implementing their greater agendas. Hezbollah is without doubt coming to terms with the fact it might not always be able to count on Syria, which is currently talking peace with Israel, while it is no secret that Siniora, Saad Hariri and Druze leader Walid Jumblatt feel the US has let them down.

Poor guy...

'I've had enough:' Siniora looks forward to leaving prime minister's office

Na'am?

"I am confident that Lebanon has chosen a leader committed to protecting its sovereignty, extending the Government's authority over all of Lebanon, and upholding Lebanon's international obligations under UN Security Council Resolutions," he [President George Bush] said.

"We look forward to working with President Suleiman in pursuit of our common values of freedom and independence."

I don't get it. Lebanon elects a president, yipppii, but Hezbollah clearly has gotten a huge political boost with the recent Doha agreement, Lebanon has fallen squarely into the Iranian axis, and the United States is sending us birthday cards and chocolate boxes? Where's the escalatory cowboy rhetoric about Iranian nucular weapons? Where's the "Hezbollah needs to give up its arms" shtick? Is the US admitting defeat and giving in to Nabih Berri's statement that "Lebanon is not the appropriate place for its New Middle East plan"? In yesterday's Parliamentary tennis match to elect Suleiman, US Ambassador to Lebanon Michelle Sison was not on the court, but on the sidelines playing the role of honorary ball boy.

Thanks, America. We didn't want you to bring the USS Cole to the Lebanese shore neither once nor twice, but if you were going to bring it, bring it. Unfortunately, this American sheep has cried wolf too many times in Lebanon and the region, and sold out on too many friends.

Middle East analysts have commented on the current undesirable positioning of the US as being neither liked, feared nor respected in the region. Now kindly add to the list that no one gives a shit anymore.

Ya Libnan may have shit English, but has always been a cheerleader for Lebanon.

Beirut - 750 thousand Lebanese from the four corners of the earth plan to come to Lebanon after the Doha accord was announced ending the Lebanese political crises , The Lebanese ministry of tourism has announced

Mabrouk, Lebanon

Mabrouk, Lebanon for electing a new President after three years of economic, political and social stagnation, promising a new era of hope and prosperity.

Mabrouk, Lebanon for baptising a ceremony tantamount to a 93-year old man marrying a 17-year old girl with the complicit cheers of a rightfully disgusted international community.

Mabrouk, Lebanon for Nabih Berri's lightswitch democracy, on or off, at his prerogative.

Mabrouk, Lebanon, for legislating "one time only", temporary solutions as Lebanon's only viable modus operandi.

Mabrouk, Lebanon for cannonizing and deifying the man that has become our President and hasn't yet uttered a single word about his intentions for Lebanese policy, domestic or foreign.

Mabrouk, Lebanon for returning right into the embrace of brotherly Syria, after the US left March 14 out to dry at Doha and awaiting the impending conciliation between Syria and Israel.

Mabrouk, Lebanon's foreign investors, tourists, domestic and foreign party-goers, for at least another year of stability.

عشتم و عاش لبنان

It's 1:33 AM here in Beirut, I'm tired and a little buzzed from half a night out on the town, still exhausted and shaken up from having flown from Cairo to Dubai on Egypt Air, the world's first airborne porta-potty.



Beirut was crazy tonight. The rejuvenated hustle and bustle of the Centreville (a word I haven't used in nearly three years) with it's posh roadside cafes and restaurants and the electric crowd outside White would cause any foreigner disbelief to know that only two days before, the area was one big camping town.

Words of wisdom

Rami Khouri, former editor of the Daily Star, head of the Issam Fares Institute, and fellow at nearly every institution I know, has graced the pages of the dense, literary cher d'oeuvre that is the Beirut Daily Star with another one of his masterpieces. (thanks Zahra)

Highlights:

When Lebanese politicians return from Doha, they should go straight to the campus of the American University of Beirut (AUB) to learn firsthand about an example of peaceful coexistence among living organisms that would otherwise have a tendency - even a genetic imperative - to fight and kill.

First, cats and pigeons have stopped fighting and fearing each other at AUB because they live under a clear law, or set of rules. There is an actual "AUB cats policy" that is posted on the university website. It clarifies that cats are fed and inspected regularly, are not allowed into buildings, and should not be taken on or off campus without supervision. Even cats, it seems, thrive under the rule of law - if it is explicit, clear, and fairly and consistently applied. (ummm, is the "AUB cats policy"communicated to the cats during Orientation, or just sent to them later in an email?!!)

Cats are treated kindly at AUB - students gently pet them on benches and on the grass; the wonderful lady who feeds them twice daily has a name for each cat, to which each animal responds warmly and quickly. The anonymity and alienation that many humans suffer and that often push individuals toward violence do not exist in AUB's cat universe, where there are no refugees, no stateless, nameless or homeless cats.

Ain't dat da truf...

Speaker Nabih Berri at the final meeting of the Doha Conference: 10,452 km2 were not enough to bring us together, but a Qatari plane managed to do so.

(taken from BBC News Online)

Anything for publicity

A good majority of people that visit my blog are looking for pictures of Haifa Wehbe. So here's one from the Cannes Film Festival taken yesterday, at her arrival to the gala screening of Belgian directors Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne's film 'Le Silence de Lorna' (Lorna's Silence). Enjoy.

Why I don't like journalism

As an ex amateur-journalist, I am reminded everyday by pieces like this why I didn't want to become a real journalist. The emphasis below is mine:

The Gulf cities are not perfect; they are cultural infants, and their towers have been built by migrants whose living conditions can be a disgrace. But they are successful, and they are Arab. They demonstrate that there is no reason why those two adjectives should not live in the same breath — or why Beirut's fires, which were the symbol of a region's past, should illuminate its future.

Beirut's fires, a symbol of the region's past, illuminating the future?! What the hell is that supposed to mean? That's about as ludicrous and nonsensical as Condy's statement about Lebanon's brutal whipping by Israel in the 2006 war as being the "birth pangs of a new Middle East." That's like the kind of ending sentence I'd slap onto a crap essay I was writing in a high school English class, right as the teacher was hurriedly coming around to collect papers...

Bravo, Lebanon. Making the headlines again.

(thanks, Alice)

Ain't it funny how one man's freedom fighter belongs on another man's shit list?

I meant to pay tribute to the Zionists — men like Weizmann and Jabotinsky, Ben-Gurion and Begin — who made possible the almost miraculous redemption of the Jewish people in 1948. And I also intended to recognize the defenders of Israel at moments of crisis — men like Harry Truman and Richard Nixon and George W. Bush.

In the land of the Nile...

Having been in Egypt for a few days now, I couldn't resist. Egypt Air is like a Nakhal tour bus with wings. Pls watch (thanks Alice):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkywyFKQyA0

Qatari Matchmaker

Qatar is just one big chameleon, isn't it: Oil-rich sheikhdom; friend of the US, Syria and Iran; acquaintance of Israel; philanthropic donor, and now...matchmaker?

Lebanon's feuding leaders on Friday were getting ready to fly to Qatar – the majority on one plane and the opposition on another – in a bid to end the long-running crisis.Upon the request from the Qatari foreign minister, leaders of the ruling March 14 coalition would take one plane, opposition chiefs would take another, while a third would carry journalists and assistants in the hopes that they would return on one jet.

Qatar has also prepared a zaffi team and several kilos of rice, following reports in Ali Hassan Khalil's personal memoirs that he has long fancied Nayla Mouawad, and has asked for her hand in marriage through a Turkish envoy. Qatari officials hope to catch a picture of Mr. Khalil and Mrs. Mouawad together, hand-in-hand, upon their return to Beirut as they disembark the Qatari aircraft.




I, however, say Qatar should probably prepare a fourth aircraft, to carry the body bags after the Lebanon 'dialogue'. :(

This climbdown is a major retreat, not only for the government but the US agenda in Lebanon," Amal Saad-Ghorayeb, a political analyst and expert on Hezbollah, told AFP.

"It empowers the opposition... and basically shows that force is the only way of dealing with the government."Osama Safa, head of the Lebanese Centre for Policy Studies, said the climbdown set a "dangerous precedent," adding: "This means that in the future the opposition could resort to the same violence or threaten to do so.

"The government has been weakened to irrelevance by actions on the street," he added. "It is fast becoming lame duck."

There's something about Qatar...

Lebanese leaders will travel to Doha soon for Qatari-backed negotiations between the government and the opposition. The Arab delegation that arrived to Lebanon yesterday, headed by Qatari Prime Minister Sheikh Hamad bin Jassem al-Thani, has dilligently been holding talks with members of the government and the Hizbullah-led opposition all through today.

My question is, how the fuck does little Qatar pull it off? And I don't mean in just being an acceptable mediator to both the government and the opposition in Lebanon, but in effectively playing both sides with the big boys? As Now Lebanon's David Kenner notes:

The oil-rich Gulf state is generally thought of as a close ally of the West: It is home to America’s most important military outpost in the Gulf region, a $1.5 billion airbase which played a major role in the latest Iraq war. Furthermore, Qatar maintains close relations with Saudi Arabia, its American-friendly neighbor.

Pushing the envelope even further, Qatar maintains low level trade agreements with Israel and permits an Israeli representation to operate in Doha. But, as Kenner further notes, Qatar has kept on good terms with both Iraq and Iran, and maintains defense links with Egypt and Syria.

Qatar is like a country that has the allegiances of a pre-2005 Walid Jumblatt and a post-2005 Walid Jumblatt, simultaneously, at once, in a harmony that makes sense to Qatar and the countries around it...if that makes sense at all.

Awww, Thomas Friedman...

I often tend to approach Thomas Friedman's articles with some hostility for his oversimplified anecdotes of the Middle East. But sometimes, simplicity is beauty, and dead on:

For now, Team America is losing on just about every front. How come? The short answer is that Iran is smart and ruthless, America is dumb and weak, and the Sunni Arab world is feckless and divided. Any other questions?

And isn't that cute. The Pulitzer Prize winning former correspondent to Beirut during the Israeli invasion in 1982 has a weak spot for Lebanon. Raphael Patai, author of The Arab Mind, had also declared that he fell in love with the Middle East beast he was studying behind a cage. God bless Orientalists:

We’re not going to war with Iran, nor should we. But it is sad to see America and its Arab friends so weak they can’t prevent one of the last corners of decency, pluralism and openness in the Arab world from being snuffed out by Iran and Syria. The only thing that gives me succor is the knowledge that anyone who has ever tried to dominate Lebanon alone — Maronites, Palestinians, Syrians, Israelis — has triggered a backlash and failed.

Iranian Pinocchio

In Tehran, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denied his country was meddling in Lebanon.

Iran is the only country not interfering," he told a news conference.

Can the Daily Star get any more desperate? And why Google isn't as dangerous as you think it is...

Privacy and civil liberties activists often sound the alarm about Google's supposed invasion of privacy, particularly with Google's advertising schemes, which 'monitor' the behavior, geographic location, etc. of online users to deliver more targeted advertising.



Well, privacy and civil liberties activists, fear not! It appears as though Google targeted ads are a little less powerful than we thought. Besides the fact that the Beirut Daily Star would brand their Editor's ass with a Coca Cola ad if they knew it would bring in extra revenue, how exactly is my interest in an article about March 14 linked to sending "Floral & Plant Gifts"?! I'll sleep a little easier tonight knowing that Google is wicked smart, but not quite as smart as I thought. Or maybe Saad likes flowers...

Sleep tight, Zu'ama

I couldn't sleep last night. I was thinking why I, like my country Lebanon, was so restless all the time. It was half-past midnight, and I was watching a taped version of Saad Hariri's press conference on mute (what's the point, really?), when I started thinking: what was Saad Hariri doing at that very moment? Where was he at that instance? Was he tucking his kids into bed? Was Hassan Nasrallah busy making kids? Was Jumblatt being all sophisticated and reading French literature, snug in his bed? Was Samir Geagea doing what I hope he was doing at half-past midnight, after 11-years in prison and a wife like Setrida?...

....Or were they all fast asleep?


And if they were all fast asleep, why was it me, the Lebanese citizen, that was so restless and worried about the situation of my country? I hope you can all sleep tight, ya zu'ama, because I sure can't.

I have to hand it to Naharnet. Sometimes the truth need not be presented objectively:

Sitting next to a mound of dirt blocking the highway leading to Beirut airport, young Hizbullah militants smoke water pipes, drink tea and eat sunflower seeds, patiently waiting for the "collapse" of Lebanon's Western-backed government.

“I blame Saad Hariri for what has happened. He practises politics in the Middle East. You need to make a militia to protect your people here, or you will be demolished,” said Talal, a 51-year-old lawyer who asked that his last name not be used. A day before, he said, Shia militiamen from the Hezbollah-allied Amal movement broke into his apartment, stealing jewellery and asking about members of Mr. Hariri's Future Movement.

Lebanon is now kosher for an Israeli attack, part II

Woah. And I thought I was reading way too much into this. My previous post, vindicated (thanks Jess):

Israel's vice premier Haim Ramon told cabinet members Sunday that Lebanon must be viewed as a "Hezbollah state," after the Shi'ite guerilla group seized control of the western part of the Lebanese capital over the weekend. "Lebanon has no government. It is a fiction, there is only Hezbollah," Ramon said during the weekly cabinet meeting.

Lebanon is now kosher for an Israeli attack

Much ink and airtime has been dedicated over the past few days in Lebanese and international media as to the role of the Lebanese Army in the recent conflict. Has it played the role of a neutral arbiter, or an acquiescent auditor to Hezbollah's fait accompli seige of Lebanon? I fear that the record will show that it either willingly, or reluctantly, played the role of the latter.

But as is usually the case, external powers will use this to their advantage and extract whatever meaning out of it they want to. Take Caroline Glick's article in the Jerusalem Post today:

WITH THIS history, it should have been clear long ago to anyone paying attention that far from being a national institution which serves Lebanon's democratically elected government, the Lebanese army is just another militia. And it also should have been clear that in the absence of a loyal, subservient army, the Saniora government was little more than a lobbying group.

Now there's a woman with a good, Zionist head on her shoulders. One of the greatest criticisms of 2006's war on Hezbollah was that it was not, in fact, a war on Hezbollah, but a war on Lebanon, with great human and material destruction all over the country. Add to this a perpetually embattled Saniora government and Lebanese army, which was truly helpless against the Israeli onslaught.

This time though, preparing in advance for her country's impending attack of Lebanon, Ms. Glick is being extra cautious to meticulously mobilize public opinion behind Israel by categorizing Hezbollah, the Lebanese Army, and by extension the Saniora government as either terrorists or terrorist accomplices. You can't stop, or don't have the power to stop Hezbollah? Israel cannot have a wholly antagonistic regime to its north. Then Saniora and the Lebanese army are just as bad and liable as Hezbollah, and therefore hallal, kosher (you name it) for attack. The defense of western, civilized nations like Israel, after all, always comes first.

This is definitely going to be a recurrent theme in Israeli media now. The Hezbollah "virus" is spreading all over Lebanon, and therefore, all of Lebanon needs to be cured with an Israeli strike. That should be Ms. Glick's exciting sequel to her first article.

Inta Meen?!

If this current conflict has made anything clear to me, it is that mentally screwed up, mini-me political zombies with no more than four supporters to their name feel that they might be able to leverage a favorable outcome from the current situation by making outrageous, inflammatory statements in the name of the Camp they belong to, in the hopes of increasing their popularity.

Ex-MP Nasser Kandil has threatened that the rubble of the US Embassy in Aoukar will be dumped into the sea, and Michel Mouwad thinks he is a za'im, or rather mas'oul Masee7i siyesse (I opt for mastoul Masee7i siyesse). To the pictured idiots below: you will emerge from this conflict unchanged - your popularity among the four people that would vote for you anyway will not grow, and you will remain the same desperate slave-clients of bigger, badder heavyweights. The next time one of them talks on another talk-show, I'm going to call in and shout:

!! كل خرة و عيط للبابا

Michel Mouawad, in a live conference aired on Tiji Channel

Nasser Kandil

Wiam Wahab, aka Eeyor, the runaway donkey from the cast of Winnie the Pooh

LebanonWire posts up this picture of Carlos Edde referring to him as a "Prominent Lebanese"...errm, OK, iza badkon

To what media outlets should the Lebanese people go to?

In one fell swoop, the Hezbollah-led opposition’s Christian cover had disappeared, and Hezbollah and Amal were going it alone. It only remains to be seen if Aoun’s controversial Memorandum of Understanding is also done for, as Hezbollah’s rash behavior continues unabated, and its actions become ever more abhorrent to its erstwhile Christian allies.

Now, I know and like the journalist that wrote this piece. But this is ultimately the problem with a publication like Now Lebanon: the MoU between Hezbollah and the FPM is the bane of this partisan publication's existence. They will spare no opportunity to go in for an attack. Although the analysis that Mr. Long provides in the article is sound, editorial restrictions from above would probably prohibit him from adding that Michel Aoun in a press conference yesterday had the gumption to declare that the MoU with Hezbollah would be "forever", even if this information were available to Mr. Long at the time (noted, the article was published May 9).

For example, I am absolutely disgusted with NBN's (Parliament Speaker Nabih Berri) coverage of the conflict. They spare no chance to put in the word "illegitimate" before referring to any position in Saniora's cabinet, they have married the word "militia" to any reference to the Future Movement or the Progresive Socialist Party, they now have an aggressive ad campaign against Al-Arabiya (claiming that Al-Arabiya erroneously attributed the killings that took place at a Sunni funeral procession to Amal gunmen), and their general coverage of the whole conflict is ridiculously one-sided. Of course, they are not alone, and if the Future TV offices had not been burned down, they would be doing the same.

Fuck all the hoopla about the Lebanese media being free and liberal. What we need in this conflict is fewer أطرفة , fewer partisan sides, and more unfiltered, honest information. The Lebanese deserve better. Don't they realize that they are being tricked, maligned, lied to by the media every day?! What we have instead is far too much biased analysis and far too little information, and I unfortunately don't see this being resolved any time soon.

Here she comes, Miss America...

I feel relieved and safe now since the USS Cole is going to protect us and put an early end to this conflict. Indeed, nipping it in the bud. Don't you?

Please watch this video. It is like Abu Ismail, the thief that introduces himself at the beginning of Disney's Aladdin and sings "Arabian Nights," interviewing a smashed President Bush that had one too many tequilas at his daughter Jenna's wedding the night before. Perfecto. This is the guy that has now pledged "practical assistance" to the Lebanese Armed Forces to counter Hezbollah's destabilization of Lebanon.

!!شكراً يا بوش! لقد زدت الطين بلة

Welcome to Hezbollistan

Where's the Cedar Revolution? Where's March 14? Too busy getting dressed in Gucci and Prada to notice what was happening outside?!


Saniora resigns, a new government - then what? Are the Lebanese to trust a governing Hezbollah and Amal that have just terrorized their streets, burned down their buildings, turned their neighborhoods into wastelands? Where does the woman and her 35-year old son who were slaughtered in their homes and shot in the heads sign up for the new government?


Chapeau ya Aoun, ya Nasrallah wo ya Berri. From the ashes of Saniora's Lebanon, the new face of a new country: welcome to Hezbollistan.

I just heard my parents refer to the Gharbieh again, a civil war reference to Muslim "West Beirut", as opposed to Christian East Beirut.

Thirty years later, we don't even have the luxury of saying that the conflict in Lebanon is the "same script, different cast". Everything is the same. Nothing has changed.

Most Christians, not to mention vast majorities of Sunnis and Druze, see no possible coexistence between the idea of the Lebanese state and a Hizbullah that insists on demanding veto power over any decision that might limit its political and military margin of maneuver...

The Lebanese state cannot live side by side with a Hizbullah state. This theorem is becoming more evident by the day, as the party's actions in the past three years have been, by definition, directed against the state, the government, the army and the security forces, institutions of national representation, the economy, and more fundamentally the rules of the Lebanese communal game. We've reached the point where Hizbullah, and more importantly the Shiite community, must choose. Will it persist in favoring a Hizbullah-led parallel state that will surely continue to clash with the recognized state? Or will Shiites try to find a new arrangement with their countrymen that forces Hizbullah to surrender its weapons?

I am sitting with my laptop on my balcony, listening to the first gunshots and distant explosions of what is now, clearly, the beginning of a new Lebanese civil war. God help us.

Hezbollah has completely hijacked Beirut. If there was any pretext to yesterday's strikes being in the interest of laborers, what is certain today is that arrogantly obstructing civilians from getting to their work in the hopes of sustaining their families counters these supposed interests. Hezbollah's bluff has been called. The complete paralysis of this city and much of the country today will convince many non-Shia, Hezbollah sympathizers that the interests of a strong Lebanon can regrettably no longer be pursued with Hezbollah as a partner.

It's been rather difficult over the past two days to be a Lebanese Hopeful.Today, on my poll in the right hand margin, I guiltily and regrettably voted "Hezbollistan." It's that bad.

Either I'm going to have to shut down this operation, or join the dark side along with my colleague Tantalus from I Hate Lebanon.

Does "Ramblings of a Lebanese Pessimist" sound too gloomy?

Where are Washington's balls?!

If any were a time for a strong, decisive position from Washington on an internal, Lebanese affair, this would be it. Unfortunately, State Department spokesman Sean McCormack was specifically requested to leave his balls at home on this one:

I know that these demonstrations have taken place under the guise of labor demonstrations, but I believe that Hizbullah has actually linked them back to some moves that the cabinet had made.

Was this discovered with your own detective work, Mr. McCormack? Or with the use of the CIA's high-tech, mind-reading capabilities? I could have sworn Amal opposition had made that rather clear on television. Hmm.....

Nobody wants to see any violent confrontations occur. And I would just note that these kinds of actions serve only to hurt the interests of the Lebanese people...If you have access to the airport road cut off, that, of course, affects tourism, which is a real source of revenue for the Lebanese economy," he added.

If I were to attribute a food to that position, it would probably have to be Blaaaa-flavored ice cream with a side order of cork.

Lifted from the Angry Arab's blog.

A Western reporter in Lebanon sent me this (he does not want his name mentioned) (he is relatively new to Lebanon and it shows at a point or two--like Amal militia has a long history in thuggishness and yet it used to complain about PLO thuggishness): "spent the entire day running around all the flashpoints in beirut, wherever there were mobs, shootings, explosions, i got harassed by various militias from both sides, but i was really shocked at the behavior of amal. i've spent a lot of time with mustaqbal militiamen, who of course are thuggish and racist and their militias are getting better organized, and thats all frightening, but they seem very weak and almost cowardly when compared with the amal thugs i saw today, who were very provocative. it had nothing to do with the labor union strike for them, it was just a show of force to specifically intimidate sunnis. even in iraq i havent seen this kind of anti sunni sectarianism, its couched in anti baathi or anti wahabi language. obviously i've seen anti shiite sectarianism all over the place among sunnis in the region they had switch blades, clubs, and they even had small molotov cocktail bottles in their pockets in case they needed them. they threw stones at the army without provocation, and the army was basically letting them do whatever they wanted, and proved how weak it was, the army guys were begging the amal and hizballah guys to behave basically. it was clear today how pathetically weak the lebanese army and police are. in most cases they just stood by and watched as protesters did whatever they wanted, in other cases, depending on their affiliation, they actually physically helped both sunni and shiite militias. when the amal guys threw stones at the soldiers, all some of the soldiers did was throw them back when the call to prayer started from the sunni mosque across the street in tariq al jadida, the amal guys started shouting various religious shiite slogans, insulting sunnis etc. it was quite obvious that the hizballah men present were controlling them when they looked like they were about to cross to the sunni side. it was as if hizballah has these amal pitbulls who are just foaming at the mouth eager to attack and kill, and hizballah is letting them bark and bite a little, to show the other side that its holding the leash and can let go at any time and the amal pitbulls would destroy anything in their way, which it was very clear they wanted to do this country is so fucked, the sunni militias now run checkpoints and demand IDs and act just like shiite militias"

News update: Hezbollah Camping Town has now expanded, extending past our luxurious branch in Downtown Beirut. Please visit our newly constructed, state-of-the-art tents that now block the road to Lebanon's only civilian airport.

Leb Army vs. all

Hardly news by now, but less than a few hours ago, the General Federation of Labor Unions (GFLU) called off the demonstration that was supposed to take place at 10 AM today. Accordingly, this has become another face-off for the Lebanese State, represented here by an arm-tied Lebanese Army, and the youth of Hezbollah, who rather than sit on plastic chairs on Airport road or do circus tricks with their motorcycles, have wooden sticks, rubber tires and an appetite for mischief today. Of course, now various factions have joined the fold, including clashes between Amal and the PSP in Msaitbeh.

If the Army reacts to reinstate order, they become the aggressor, and Hezbollah and co. the aggressee. If the Army stands idle, it is further testament to the inability of the Lebanese state to react. A Lebanese Catch-22, par excellence.

Poem Number 1

I woke up to the sounds coming from the TV screen this morning, as LBC covered the events going on in Beirut's southern suburbs, Mazraa, Barbir and Mar Elias, among other locations. And I got inspired to write a poem. Actually, I'm inspired to write several, but this will be my first:

Beirut is beautiful this morning.
Hundreds of angry Shiite kids,
no older than the age of ten,
are burning thousands of rubber tires
to block the road leading to the airport.
Today is a "Laborer's Strike".


What do you think? Should I keep my day job?

How truly unfortunate. It's often the wackos that can't be trusted that can talk the straightest.

Is arming small groups and militias also related to Hizbullah's defense strategy? Is the arbitrary arrest of people part of the defense strategy?" Jumblatt asked. "We will stick to the Lebanese state, which should be the only sovereign and legitimate authority in the country."

On the occasion of Labor Day, Ethiopia has officially banned its citizens from traveling to Beirut in search of jobs, the African country's Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs has disclosed. Ethiopia passed the bill after it probed the human right violations and domestic violence Ethiopian migrants face behind closed doors in Beirut while employed as maids.

Brought to my attention by the Angry Arab's blog.

"I am disclosing such information about Hizbullah before people march in my funeral or parliamentary majority leader Saad Hariri's funeral," Jumblatt added.

Perhaps one of Thomas Friedman's most insightful, non democracy-peddling, non-"America is great, period" articles ever in the New York Times.

Who will tell the people? We are not who we think we are. We are living on borrowed time and borrowed dimes. We still have all the potential for greatness, but only if we get back to work on our country.

Haifa Wehbe, Arab Sex Warrior?

Ditsy girls do it sexier. It's a simple fact of life verified by every high school breakup or heartbreak you've ever had or witnessed: girls like jerks, boys like ditsy sluts. Haifa Wehbe is one such ditsy slut, and an excellent one at that. That's why boys like me are fascinated with her.

To be quite honest, though, I'd be horrifed and feel cheated if Haifa were to simply be propagating an image of 'Stupid Slut' and actually be intelligent. Think about it: surely, the fantasy would be lost were your Czech call girl pick-up at Dubai's favorite 5-Star Motel, the "Fairmont Hotel", turn out to have majored in Victorian Literature at Yale University. The courtesan died in 19th century France and geisha are an endangered species in Japan. It's just not the place of modern prostitutes to be reciting poetry and sharing their views on international relations, if you ask me.

All to say, this whole ordeal about Haifa performing in Bahrain or not has been blown waaayyyy out of proportion. To perform or to not perform in Bahrain has erroneously been escalated to the question of who is victorious, moderates or conservatives, when it comes to defining the limits of what is deemed acceptable in the realm of Bahraini art and aesthetics. On this piece of canvas, Haifa is painted as the raunchy, hip-snapping David challenging a bearded, backward and thobe-clad Goliath.

Truth be told, I don't think Haifa is trying to cross over into the realm of Arab civil rights activist. It's only the media that's trying to make her a hero. Accordingly, when asked to comment directly on the bid to ban her in Bahrain, her response, "I am a perfomer and not a politician," is neither coyly diplomatic nor politically correct. It's straight-up truth. I'm convinced that that's precisely what she believes. She's not trying to be avant-garde, she's not trying to push the envelope in a conservative Arab world - she's just trying to push her bosom at our boob-tube for a good view.

Arab moderates and conservatives will both be tallying points on their score sheets after Haifa was eventually allowed to perform, albeit a cleaned-up version of her act. Thankfully, the only counting Haifa will be doing is that of Bahraini dinars, for a jiggly-boob performance well done. And Godspeed to her for that, but only that.